This week, I was looking at my mini-version of The Four Agreements. I used to be a hard-core woo-woo. Now, as I’ve gotten older and probably more jaded (or just more tied to the practical, tangible, day-to-day crap that leads me around by the nose), I’m sort of a half-hearted woo-woo. But some things stick. Anyway, bear in mind that I’m not endorsing any One Path as The Way. Just sending this out as food for thought and a way to reflect back on my own struggles.
I’ll include a reference to the official
don Miguel Ruiz site. Get more info here if you want. Also there are a few different bloggers I’ve found that reflect on T.F.A. Those are listed at the bottom. So here is agreement #1:
I think overall I am pretty aware of the “speaking against others” part. Though I do not always succeed (particularly in traffic ), I really try to be aware of what I’m saying and how I’m saying it. Is it constructive? Is it something I can be proud of? Would I be ashamed if that person heard me say it (assuming they are not there)? I feel nauseous around mean people and name-calling makes me sick.
Hmm… “Say only what you mean.” – okay…. mean people piss me off. There’s just no excuse for it. What gives you the right – why do you think you are so much better than others that you can spout of some nasty, bile-soaked diatribe against someone you deem lesser than you? YOU (mean person) are someone I feel very mean towards. At a certain point, I feel unable to “love” you into kindness.
Is that in the direction of “truth and love”? I’m totally unsure. I do NOT think being impeccble with my word means that I can’t express an opinion. I’m not some wet-noodle doormat, and speaking with truth and love to me means speaking with conviction and integrity just as much as it means speaking with kindness.
Okay, but back to the other point. “Avoid using the word to speak against yourself…” Against YOURSELF. See, now that’s a problem. That one is tough for me. A long time ago, for reasons I won’t go into – I stopped allowing myself to get angry directly to (at) others. Now, my anger is pretty well centered against myself. So when I am not at my best emotionally, there is a tape in the back of my mind telling me that I am – old, ugly, fat, not living up to my potential, a bad person, a bad “mother” to my kitties, terrible at keeping a clean house….
See – now I’m not only using the word against myself in the back of my head, I have put it out there in PRINT! That can’t be good – it is less likely to dissipate and evaporate. This week, I am going to try to be more aware of using the word against myself. And just to balance things out a little bit – I am okay – I am me, and even when I struggle I am a good person. I am not defined by a clean house, or by a small waist or flabby arms. I am blessed with a good life. I resolve not to walk (wallow) in the shallow waters as often as I have this year.
Blah Blah Blah Blessed Be.
P.S. Two other Bloggers on The Four Agreements: