ABlogAbout: Be Impeccable With Your Word


Currently Listening
Speak for Yourself
By Imogen Heap
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This week, I was looking at my mini-version of The Four Agreements. I used to be a hard-core woo-woo. Now, as I’ve gotten older and probably more jaded (or just more tied to the practical, tangible, day-to-day crap that leads me around by the nose), I’m sort of a half-hearted woo-woo. But some things stick. Anyway, bear in mind that I’m not endorsing any One Path as The Way. Just sending this out as food for thought and a way to reflect back on my own struggles.

I’ll include a reference to the official

don Miguel Ruiz site. Get more info here if you want. Also there are a few different bloggers I’ve found that reflect on T.F.A. Those are listed at the bottom. So here is agreement #1:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

I think overall I am pretty aware of the “speaking against others” part. Though I do not always succeed (particularly in traffic ), I really try to be aware of what I’m saying and how I’m saying it. Is it constructive? Is it something I can be proud of? Would I be ashamed if that person heard me say it (assuming they are not there)? I feel nauseous around mean people and name-calling makes me sick.

Hmm… “Say only what you mean.” – okay…. mean people piss me off. There’s just no excuse for it. What gives you the right – why do you think you are so much better than others that you can spout of some nasty, bile-soaked diatribe against someone you deem lesser than you? YOU (mean person) are someone I feel very mean towards. At a certain point, I feel unable to “love” you into kindness.

Is that in the direction of “truth and love”? I’m totally unsure. I do NOT think being impeccble with my word means that I can’t express an opinion. I’m not some wet-noodle doormat, and speaking with truth and love to me means speaking with conviction and integrity just as much as it means speaking with kindness.

Okay, but back to the other point. “Avoid using the word to speak against yourself…” Against YOURSELF. See, now that’s a problem. That one is tough for me. A long time ago, for reasons I won’t go into – I stopped allowing myself to get angry directly to (at) others. Now, my anger is pretty well centered against myself. So when I am not at my best emotionally, there is a tape in the back of my mind telling me that I am – old, ugly, fat, not living up to my potential, a bad person, a bad “mother” to my kitties, terrible at keeping a clean house….

See – now I’m not only using the word against myself in the back of my head, I have put it out there in PRINT! That can’t be good – it is less likely to dissipate and evaporate. This week, I am going to try to be more aware of using the word against myself. And just to balance things out a little bit – I am okay – I am me, and even when I struggle I am a good person. I am not defined by a clean house, or by a small waist or flabby arms. I am blessed with a good life. I resolve not to walk (wallow) in the shallow waters as often as I have this year.

Blah Blah Blah Blessed Be.


P.S. Two other Bloggers on The Four Agreements:


8 thoughts on “ABlogAbout: Be Impeccable With Your Word

  1. hello,
    my name is Joetta Hernandez and i live in Nipomo, CA….
    i was googling up Allison Anders because i’ve been inspired by her for a long long time…..

    i clicked on this blog thinking it was her writing….i clicked on this blog by “accident”. …
    i’m thinking i clicked on this blog because i was meant to hear your words

    so i was still thinking you were this fabulous colorful screenwriter, genius Macarthur successful person that is somehow a huge mentor to me because she came up out of ghetto single motherhood, right? i was amazed at how much that tape, that harsh mean-voiced tape you keep hearing was something that she (Allison Anders) would think about herself because THAT’s what i think about MYself….i hate my arms, my house is a horrible wreck, i’m a bad mother because i’ve failed my three kids Financially in a very big way….excuse my language but i was fucking Weeping in my closet after i read this post.

    turns out:
    it was a case of mistaken identity….i saw myself in her only it was you….I figured it out after the Pecha Kuchu thinger.
    (your slide show doesn’t come up by the way, it says to contact the writer about it. i can’t wait to see it)

    So as a fellow blogger & to make a Loooong wierd story short….
    thank you soo much for writing this
    i totally got something out of it….i don’t know quite What yet but Thank you.

  2. Joetta – thank you so much for leaving this comment. What a wonderful surprise, and a touching reminder that what we put out there in the world has an impact. Sometimes for one person, sometimes for many, always for ourselves. The Butterfly Effect, I guess. I’m wishing you well from up north (Portland, Oregon).

  3. Thank you.

    I find that there is less suffering to bear if I just get to the point. It seems a bit drastic at times, but, that how I bear less suffering.

    I typically had (in the past) that what desires to speak so much and add stories in is the “ego.” The ego — hates silence — the ego enjoys stories.

    I find that when all conversations are summed up and to the point, there is less suffering:

    “I think it all started when I wore those wrongly mixed clothes at 8 years old when I showed up to school the teacher reminded me of my aunt who always scarred me so I wanted to leave plus all the kids were waiting to attack me and….” and this can go on and on ad infinitum.

    The whole point can be summed up in bullets.

    Dropped out of school cause:
    *Uncomfortable with the way I looked as a child
    *Teachers facial expressions scarred me
    *Students body language scarred me.

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